How To Photograph A New Puppy

• Remove film from box and load camera
• Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
• Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
• Choose a suitable background for photo
• Mount camera on tripod and focus
• Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth
• Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera
• Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees
• Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand
• Get tissue and clean nose print from lens
• Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash
• Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose
• Put magazines back on coffee table
• Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head
• Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
• Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
• Call spouse to clean up mess
• Fix a drink
• Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" the first thing in the morning